LOOK AT ME!

It's 4 something am and I cannot sleep. Yet another fun tidbit of the final weeks of pregnancy, no position is comfortable, can't fall asleep yet I am constantly exhausted. Ah well at least I can get a good nights sleep once I give birth, right? Or not. Oh well. I have been having contractions off and on since Tuesday. Nothing regular but the past two days I have been having low backache so whatever that means. My husband is switching jobs next week! We are all about making all our life altering changes all at once over here. Seriously though, this new job was really too good to pass up, its a bit more money with a lot more opportunity for advancement. The company that recruited him and kept offering more and more to entice him to come over, including two weeks paid off paternity leave after only working there probably a week! This is a bit embarrassing to admit but as the birth of my fourth baby approaches, I find myself actually really nervous and scared about making it through labor and delivery. I honestly have no idea why, but there it is. My first I was not allowed an epidural and that birth was nightmarish. The second I got an epidural, but I was literally at 10 cm by the time he pushed the meds in. (I had been prepped and had it inserted but he was tied up in a C-section so by the time he got back to me they were breaking down the bed and the nurse told him to nevermind. God bless that man because he gave me the meds anyway and my first born son came into this world without my feeling any pain!) My third... the guy pretending to be skilled in anethesia tapped my spinal fluid... Ugh, it was not a fun time. That birth physically really tore me up and it was a long recovery. Five years later (and older), I am starting to remember why I am a tad afraid of this next one.