Wednesday, March 29, 2006

People that annoy me

I would like to be appointed to some super special position in which I am given the authority to rid the world of jerks. Maybe just at least in my surrounding community. I don't even want to be paid, less jerks around will be reward enough. Those judged will immediately be shipped off to some remote island surrounded by many sharks with no hope to ever come back to polite society.

1. Ugly lady? in the Toyota Tacoma pick up truck that ran a stop sign just to cut in front of me on the way to pick up my kids from school? I judge you complete jerk and off you go to the island.

2. Women that brag incessantly about how much money they have or how big their houses are or how hot they look will be given warnings. I think repeat offenders should have their own separate special island equipped with cameras because really, what could be more entertaining than watching a bunch of high maintenance snotty women be forced to live with each other and battle it out which one is better.

On a side note.... I have women friends that are actually really hot and they shop all the time and have a lot of money, etc. BUT the difference is that they haven't TOLD me about it, they just are who they are. I am into nice clothes and a nice house and all those things - I may even be more materialistic than I'd like to admit but the difference is I don't TALK about it to anyone with ears... I cannot fathom telling one of my friends that is struggling to get by all about the expensive (blank) I just bought or the new ring I got... its just insensitive.

3. People that complain about things that are ridiculous. For example, the person that complains that their maid has an illness in the family so she had to take a week off and how horrible it is for YOU to endure such a dilemma. You people are jerks, every single one of you. Do you ever HEAR how obnoxious you sound?

4. People that brag about their kids in bizarre ways. Of course there is that group of moms that think just because junior excels past his age group in one area, he is headed straight to MENSA but more annoying are the moms (and yes, its always moms) that brag about how beautiful and how perfect their children are and on and on and on and on when really all they are doing is giving themselves an underhanded pat on the back for their genes and mothering just being so superior, their kids are perfect. Oh and better than yours.

5. The One Upper. You must have at one point in your life known at least one of these. This is the person that when you tell anything to, he/she has to one up you and tell you why whatever it is you have or have accomplished, she has something better, more expensive, worth more, etc. If you are sick, well she had that same illness once but WAY worse. Unfortunately for me I have such a competitive personality that in the past I would always get sucked in by this type of friend and end up starting some competition until reality came over me and I just stopped talking to that person in order to save my sanity.

6. Since I have to go start dinner I am going to sum up with the following people that annoy me. This is by no means a complete list, just off the top of my head right now. People that: Leave their trash cans out in the street for DAYS after trash pick up, leave their FREAKING CHRISTMAS LIGHTS on their house in MARCH, talk on the cell phone way too loudly in public, drop the F bomb in public around little kids, smoke at the entry to any store or building forcing everyone to walk through your smoke to get inside, talk in movies or actually more annoying, take FOREVER to open your crinkly plastic food item.... ok seriously I could go on and on.

Pregnancy hormones are rough people - my apologies.


Alien said...

So Scully, tell us how you really feel. LMFAO!

For what it's worth, I hate all the same people you do! I knew there was a reason we're friends. ;)

Renfield said...

OMFG!! Next time give a Depends warning, will ya??

PS: I quite agree with your list and your idea of expulsion. I especially like the 24 Hour Snobby Bitch Island.

Melissa said...

Yes. I agree to all of the above. Let's start rounding them up.

Carrie said...

LMAO! I agree whole heartedly, my friend.

Kappy said...

You're so cute when you're being yourself. LOL

Emily said...

This post freakin killed me.


TC said...

Amen Sista!!! You said it and I couldn't agree more on all counts!!!