5 Things that annoy me:

1. Excessive use of blinkies for things that no one could ever need a blinkie for. First of all, NO ONE wants to be confronted by 30 freaking blinkies every time you post on a message board.

We don't need to know exactly how old each one of your children are down to the nano second it emerged from your womb. You breastfeed? Congratulations! You need a blinkie for that? Really? I breastfed every one of my children and plan to do so with this one but I have yet to blink it into the face of every friend I have in cyberspace.

---Ok this one really gets me, you love your family! You love your husband? Your daughter? GET OUT NO. WAY. ME TOOO!!! That's amazing! You know, I don't even mind some blinkies, some of them are funny and actually offer interesting facts but if you have to resort to things like, "I love my own children" or "I breathe air" to boast about in a blinkie, you simply aren't applying yourself to the task.

2. My daughter accidentally threw her retainer in the garbage at In and Out Burger tonight. Didn't realize it until we were a mile away from there so had to turn around, race back and go through FOUR cans of garbage only to NOT find it. In the time we were gone, they tossed one can into their crusher which is like a chute that can't be accessed. FRICK! So not only did my poor husband have to muck through trash, we didn't even find it. Ah well, a quick jaunt out to the money tree we have growing in the backyard and I will pluck the $400 its going to cost to replace it. Oh wait, that's right! Money doesn't grow on trees! Can 12 year olds get full time jobs? Anyone?

3. People that borrow books and then keep them. I have bought "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" by Vicki Iovine THREE times now. I loaned them out and they weren't returned. The first time it was a friend of a friend that I loaned it to but the last time it was my neighbor and she moved away without returning it. If you ask to BORROW it, its a loan, people!

4. People that come to your house selling something that then BANG on your door as if they were the SWAT team getting ready to invade. WTF kind of reaction do you think you are going to get after you fist pound my glass storm door? Also, note the NO SOLICITING sign that I hate having on my door, yet have to have since you people annoy me so much. I seriously need a trap door leading to an alligator pit. Or a moat. A moat filled with alligators!

Ah yes, prime Louisiana real estate here I come!

5. People that whistle in public. Why does this annoy me? I don't know but it seriously grates on my nerves. I used to have a co-worker that would whistle while we would watch the security cameras looking for shoplifters. STOP WHISTLING!